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Monday, March 1, 2021

The root of the matter: shame - shamefulness and shamelessness


A new book by Malaysian grief therapist discusses shameinformed counselling and psychotherapy.


WHEN the first movement control order was implemented in March last year, grief therapist and psychotherapist Dr Edmund Ng started writing about shame. It is a subject that the 68-year-old licensed counsellor is well-acquainted with, having 15 years of professional practice under his belt.

More specifically, he had recently completed a two-year field research involving Malaysian women who have suffered perinatal losses such as miscarriages, stillbirths and neonatal deaths, and had formulated an approach to shame-informed counselling and psychotherapy that he wanted to share.

“Shame is in fact the root cause of most of the psychological problems faced by mankind. The dynamics of shame are seen in every culture around the world, although they are patterned differently and to varying degrees in different societies.

“For example, the American society also has a shame-based culture like the East, but there, shame remains hidden because the taboo on it is so strong that the people behave as if shame does not exist,” he says.

Recently, Ng’s new book, Shameinformed Counselling And Psychotherapy: Eastern And Western 
Perspectives, was published as a hardcover monograph by British publisher Routledge.
 
“It is a rare honour for a Malaysian to be able to publish a psychology book through Routledge as it is a prestigious publisher in the academic world.

“Publishing a book through Routledge is the dream of many professors of the best universities in the world. A monograph ranks above a reference book or textbook in terms of stature,” Ng says.

So what exactly is shameinformed counselling and psychotherapy?

Ng explains it succinctly: A professional intervention to resolve many psychological problems with a focus on treating not just the surface symptoms but dealing with the root cause, which originates from shame.

“The approach is used only as a supplementary intervention and not as a replacement of first-level interventions. Addressing shame this way is more appropriate because most people do not seek professional help merely over their shame, but over some other psychological manifestations, without a clue that shame is the root cause of their problems,” he explains.

Ng adds that there are hardly any educational modules on addressing shame being taught in counselling courses offered by tertiary institutions, and limited psychological literature on shame.

Of these, most are written from the Western perspective.

“However, there are differing perceptions and expressions of shame arising from the fundamental differences in the primary cultures in the East and West. So essentially, my book is written as a contribution to therapists who bemoan the fact that shame is notoriously difficult to admit, discuss and treat, especially when the patient comes from a different culture,” he says.

While Ng’s field research findings on shame in perinatal losses provide some empirical evidence of the characteristics of shame in the East in comparison with what Western literature and research tell us, other real-life case studies are also described in his book.

“I have endeavoured to write in a style that is as simple to read as possible and so the book is useful to academicians, researchers, educators, practitioners, students and laymen alike.

“Not only will the readers capture a nuanced understanding of the complex nature of shame and its differences in the East and West, they will be equipped with an effective approach to address shame’s adverse psychological effects on people,” he shares.

Interestingly, Ng notes that even in our “conservative” Malaysian society, the level of shamefulness and shamelessness is relatively high.

Shamefulness represents an extremely high level of acute shame, while shamelessness refers to a state where very little or no shame is experienced by the person at all.

“My two-year study on shame in the Klang Valley has revealed that the prevalence of shamefulness is as high as 23.8% but the prevalence of shamelessness is even higher at 33.3%.

“Research in neuroscience tells us that too high a level of shame and too little or no sense of shame can often result in irresponsible behaviour in public, due to the impairment of higher order mental processes essential for considered, good and value-based decision-making.

“This is one of the major factors that will generate more social disorders, corruption and other forms of evil in society,” he says.

Ng is also one of three Asians accredited as a Fellow in Thanatology by the Association of Death Education and Counselling (ADEC) in the United States.

Thanatology is the scientific study of dying, death and grief.

Besides grief therapy, he also specialises in personality disorders and psychological issues rooted in shame. His venture into this field happened shortly after a personal tragedy.

“For 20 years, I ran a business practice until 2005 when my first wife died from a brain aneurysm. I was devastated. To help myself, I studied psychology and counselling in Australia and then specialised in grief therapy in the United States. At that time, Malaysians hardly hear of grief counselling and its benefits,” he relates.

In 2007, together with his present wife Pauline Chong, Ng started Grace to Grieving Persons Outreach (GGP), a free community service that offers pro bono grief counselling to people who have lost their loved ones.

Today, they work together with a group of trained caregivers at GGP to provide support to those in need.

By ROUWEN LIN lifestyle@thestar.com.my 
 
 
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Sunday, February 28, 2021

Didik tv home-based teaching and learning

DidikTV goes on air to fill education gap in a world ravaged by a pandemic.  

PM: Students affected by pandemic can keep up with their studies 

 

The all-day educational television channel DidikTV Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia (KPM) will help ensure more students who cannot resume face-toface learning can keep up with their studies, says the Prime Minister.

Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said this is especially necessary for students who do not have access to the Internet or possess electronic gadgets to use for learning.

He added that the government understands that online home-based teaching and learning (PdPR) could not reach every one of Malaysia’s 5,000,000 school students in the short time since it was introduced on March 18, 2020.

“The Education Ministry always emphasises that whatever teaching and learning method used must be suitable for teachers and students,” he said when launching DidikTV KPM yesterday.

Muhyiddin said this is the first time a channel is being dedicated to educational content in Malaysia and is among the ministry’s efforts to increase access to quality educational content for all students.

“I believe that DidikTV KPM will help students with their PdPR, especially those who do not have access to online PdPR,” he added.

He said that the content is based on the Education Ministry’s curriculum and co-curriculum.

“This channel will also broadcast news about the education world from preschool until Form Six, and edutainment,” he said, adding that there would also be lifelong learning programmes that emphasise character development and moral values.

Separately, Education Minister Datuk Dr Mohd Radzi Md Jidin said DidikTV differs from the previous TV Pendidikan, totalling 11 hours of content on different channels, in that it is now 17 hours in one dedicated channel, aired on ntv7 from 7am to midnight.

Previously TV Pendidikan was broadcast on TV Okey RTM, Tutor TV Astro and DidikTV@ntv7.

Top teachers will be delivering the content to the students, said Radzi, adding that right now, with the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) 2020 looming, they are focusing more on programmes to prepare the candidates for the examinations.

He also said the ministry decided to create a dedicated television channel with educational content based on the positive feedback on its Road To SPM 2020 programme, which catered for SPM 2020 candidates.

Based on available data, about 95% of Malaysian households have a television set, making this a suitable medium to deliver PdPR to everyone, he said in an interview with TV3 yesterday.

“The content is not limited to the national curriculum or co-curriculum,” he said, adding that there will be programmes to build character, improve general knowledge, and showcase students’ talents.

Radzi also said that the ministry will be monitoring feedback on the programmes to identify areas that need to be improved.

Related:

Parents: Motivate kids with interactive content | The Star

Learning at home: Azza Azrin Juri (left), 33, guiding her sons Arrizqy Izzran (centre) Arruzain Izzul, as they follow a lesson on Didik TV. - IZZRAFIQ ALIAS/The Star

DidikTV to fill education gaps

DidikTV a boon for students without Internet access

All-day educational television now available with DidikTV, says Muhyiddin

 DidikTV: It will be better

Saturday, February 27, 2021

MySejahtera for the Covid-19 vaccination registration to get immunised


Malaysians weigh in: Some find registering for immunisation on MySejahtera easy while others say the app could be more intuitive and user-friendly.

 

MySejahtera gets more features, improves vaccination registration process

Over a million people have already registered for the Covid-19 vaccine via MySejahtera, and the app will include new features to become the one-stop centre for the national immunisation programme.

It will also cater to those who do not have smartphones and thus cannot instal the app.

Science, Technology and Innovation Minister Khairy Jamaluddin had earlier said that the registration process for dependants will be rolled out in mid-March.

“The facility will enable children to register their parents who do not have MySejahtera,” he told a previous press conference.

Meanwhile, those who are selected to receive the jab in the second and third phases will be notified by the app of the date and location of their vaccination appointments, according to MySejahtera’s Helpdesk.

The handbook on the National Covid-19 Immunisation Programme added that the monitoring of side effects after vaccination can also be done via MySejahtera.

“The monitoring of side effects and adverse effects following immunisation (AEFI) will be carried out through enhanced surveillance, where vaccine recipients will receive a scheduled notification or reminder through the MySejahtera app so they can report any AEFI experience,” the handbook noted.

The app, which has been instrumental in containing Covid-19 outbreaks with its contact tracing feature, will continue to play a vital part in the country’s battle against the pandemic by now supporting users in the vaccination programme.

Khairy said that over one million people registered for the vaccine via the app within four days of the vaccination registration feature being made available on Feb 23.

“More frontliners are receiving their jabs. It’s safe, it’s effective.

“Let’s end the pandemic. Take the vaccine. Register today,” he tweeted.

According to the MySejahtera Helpdesk, non-frontliners have to activate push notifications to be informed when the next phase of vaccinations begins.

If users are selected for the vaccination, they will receive a push notification through the app that they have to click on to answer the screening question.

Most Malaysians have described the registration process as easy and fuss-free, though some have indicated that clearer instructions would have made the experience even better.

Retired civil servant Alexander Ananda Jothy said the registration was straightforward and that he was waiting to be able to register his wife, whom he listed as a dependant on the app.

“She doesn’t have the app downloaded in her name on the phone, so she can’t register for the vaccine independently.

“By allowing vaccine registration for dependants to take place on the MySejahtera app, it would be more convenient for those without phones,” he said, adding that a few of his neighbours have also brought up this issue.

Photographer Sia Hong Kiau, 52, said that she was able to register her husband, who is from Myanmar with permanent resident status in Malaysia.

“It was an easy process. I helped him key in his details and he was successful in registering his interest in getting vaccinated,” she said.

Church worker Danielle Cheng, 27, said the process was simple but certain instructions could be better presented so that it would be more intuitive and user-friendly.

“For instance, after I clicked on the vaccination icon, there were a few options on the screen but it did not clearly state that I need to click the first one in order to register.

“There was a bit of fumbling around and clicking on different buttons to see what would happen.

“I was then directed to a page that said I would be notified when phase 2 starts, but which also told me to click on the link to provide additional details.

“So I was not sure if I was already registered at that point or if I needed to provide more details in order to be registered,” she said.

Brian Chung concurred, adding that while it was a fairly straightforward process, there were some parts that caused slight confusion.

“I would appreciate it if they had clear notifications that I could register my interest or to inform me what my next steps are,” he said.

Gilbert Tang, 64, said he signed up for the vaccine on MySejahtera because he was in the high risk group and was concerned about his well-being.

“My dad died of pneumonia back in 2015 and our family has a history of heart ailments.

“I had a bad experience when I was with my father during his last days when he was struggling to breathe through an oxygen mask.

“After experiencing this, I decided that I would sign up and take the vaccine as I do not want to suffer like my father did,” he said.

Source link

Related:

Covid-19: First batch of CoronaVac vaccine arrives at KLIA

 

No to compulsory vaccine passport for domestic use 

 
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  A nurse simulating giving a vaccine jab to a volunteer during the exercise at the Serian community hall. Ñ ZULAZHAR SHEBLEE/The Star   PE...

 

Convincing the non-believers for vaccination

Monday, February 22, 2021

Covid-19 vaccines are here. Here's what you need to know to begin vaccination Feb 24, 2021

 

A nurse simulating giving a vaccine jab to a volunteer during the exercise at the Serian community hall. Ñ ZULAZHAR SHEBLEE/The Star

 


PETALING JAYA: With the arrival of the first batch of Covid-19 vaccines in Malaysia, many are eager to know what happens next and when they can get their shots.

To date, the country has bought 66.7mil doses of vaccines from five Covid-19 vaccine producers, enough to vaccinate 109.65% of Malaysia's population.

The vaccination is voluntary and will be provided free of charge to everyone living in Malaysia, including non-citizens.

The vaccine will only be offered to people aged 18 years and above, though this will be re-evaluated if needed.

Here are other key details about Malaysia's National Covid-19 Immunisation Programme:

The Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine obtained conditional approval from the Drug Control Authority (DCA) and the National Pharmaceutical Regulatory Agency (NPRA) on Jan 8, 2021.

The remaining four Covid-19 vaccine candidates are still pending approval from the NPRA.

The vaccines from these five suppliers will be received in stages by Malaysia from February 2021, subject to NPRA approval.

Take the quiz below to know when you can expect to receive your vaccine:

Flourish logoA Flourish data visualization

You can register starting March 1, 2021 to receive the vaccine.

There will be five ways to register, namely through:

How old are you?

Choose 1 of the following

* The MySejahtera application

* A hotline that will be launched soon

* An outreach programme for rural and interior areas

* www.vaksincovid.gov.my

* Registration at public and private health facilities

Appointment details such as dates and vaccination centre will be provided via the MySejahtera application, phone calls or SMS.



Source link: https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2021/02/21/interactive-covid-19-vaccines-are-here-here039s-what-you-need-to-know

Related:

Khairy: China-made vaccine to arrive on Feb 27 | The Star
https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2021/02/20/khairy-china-made-vaccine-to-arrive-on-feb-27

Vaccination to begin Feb 24 | The Star
https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2021/02/22/vaccination-to-begin-feb-24

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Convincing the non-believers for vaccination
https://rightwayspro.blogspot.com/2021/02/convincing-non-believers-for-vaccination.html

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Convincing the non-believers for vaccination


With the Covid-19 vaccine rollout starting soon, the onus is on the government to engage the fence sitters.


RECENT news that Indonesia has made Covid-19 vaccination for its citizens compulsory has given rise to speculation that Malaysia could follow suit.

With the National Covid-19 Immunisation Plan around the corner, the government machinery has swung into gear to convince the people that vaccination is the only way out of this pandemic that has imprisoned our lives.

The government has already hinted of fines for those who decline the vaccine and there is also a possibility that individuals who reject the vaccination could have their movements restricted. This means that they will be barred from entering business premises or restaurants.

While there are no plans at this time to draw up legislation to make it compulsory for everyone to be vaccinated, the sledgehammer approach may not be as effective as we think.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) believes that making vaccines compulsory is counter-productive, as it will increase vaccine hesitancy that is already present.

I believe that Malaysians can be divided into three categories: proponents of the vaccine, anti-vaxxers and the fence sitters, people who though unopposed to taking the vaccine, are yet to be convinced that vaccination is essential for herd immunity.

It will be nigh on impossible for the government to convince the anti-vaxxer movement. They may be small in number, but these fellow Malaysians, like others around the world, are dead set against the vaccination plan.

In fact, some of these anti-vaxxers are also Covid-19 deniers. They believe that the pandemic is a conspiracy that has been exaggerated by the media and that Covid-19 is a hoax.

So no amount of cajoling or threats are going to make them change their minds. It is the third category that the government should focus on – Malaysians who are wary or unsure of taking the vaccine.

There needs to be a massive public relations drive to reach these fence sitters. From vaccine safety issues to side effects, from registration protocols to logistical challenges, the government needs to address the concerns of this segment of the populace. Public education is going to be key, not harsh fines, penalties and sanctions.

And it should not only be government agencies that embark on this blitz. Key opinion leaders, influencers and NGOs should be roped in to assist in this, our biggest ever immunisation programme.

Of crucial importance is getting the vaccination message across to the rural areas and not just our urban centres.

The government made the right move by also allowing free vaccinations for foreign workers. There must now be a concerted effort to get undocumented foreign workers to also come forward to receive vaccines. There could be as many as a million undocumented workers in the country, and if they are not vaccinated, our objective of reaching herd immunity will not come to fruition.

It should be pointed out that we will not be taking shortcuts to achieving herd immunity.

The Pfizer vaccine that will arrive on Sunday requires two doses, 21 days apart. Even though other countries have spaced this out to as much as eight weeks, thereby vaccinating a greater number of people, Malaysian authorities have already confirmed that they will stick to the manufacturer’s recommended dosage.

But in the race to vaccinate its populations, we are already behind many countries.

For example, more than 15 million people in the United Kingdom have already received their dose. This works out to almost 24 doses per 100 residents.

In the United States it’s 16 doses per 100 and in the European Union as at mid February it is five doses per 100 residents.

Surprisingly France, which has one of the best public healthcare systems in the world, has been slow to administer vaccines to its population. This could be because of the strong anti-vaccine sentiment in the country.

A poll last year revealed that only 54% of French were willing to be immunised.

So, that should be a concern for our government too. We need to do our best to combat anti-vaccine propaganda because we have no time to lose.

As more of the world is vaccinated, travel bubbles will open up. Soon travellers will be required to show a digital health passport, possibly via an app on your phone that proves you have been vaccinated.

This may be the only way travel restrictions will be lifted.

As more companies roll out vaccinations, Covid-19 doses will eventually become as common as a flu shot. That is a reality that Malaysians must expect and embrace.

 Source link

 

Related:

 

Covid-19 vaccines are here. Here's what you need to know to begin vaccination Feb 24, 2021

 

 

Let’s stick to SOP as vaccination goes on

 

Chinese vaccines rise above scepticism, hostility | The Star

First in EU: Menczer with Chinese Ambassador to Hungary Qi Dayu welcoming the arrival of China’s Sinopharm vaccine at Liszt Ferenc International Airport in Hungary on Feb 16. — Xinhua

 

 

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Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Get groomed for Zoom: Four ways you can look better on video calls

Sitting further away from the camera, wearing neutral colours and doing simple makeup that helps to define your features are all good ways to present well over a video call. Photograph: Getty Images


From better angles to lighting and dressing up yourself and your background, here’s what experts say you’re probably doing wrong on video calls. — dpa
 

Wow, doesn’t he look tired today! Since video calls have become part of our daily work routines and entire groups of friends have virtual parties, the technical and aesthetic flaws of video chat have never been more apparent.

With these four tips, you can make it look like you’re streaming from a TV studio and look your best in front of the webcam.

1: Consider the perspective (don’t film up your nostrils)

Even with the tiny webcams built into laptops, a lot can be done. It starts with how it's positioned, explains video hardware specialist Natasja Sluka.

“A look from above can unintentionally give off an arrogant vibe.”

Try to position your camera at eye level, just like in a personal conversation. To avoid filming into your nostrils when using a laptop camera, you should place the laptop higher up, for example on some books.

Around 50 to 100 centimetres, or an arm’s length, is a good distance from the face. This also makes for a good image with some free space around the head and shoulders.

2: Let there be light (but not back light)

A lot can go wrong when it comes to lighting. A window or bright lamp behind you means everyone will see a dark shadow where your face should be.

But too little light also doesn’t make for a good picture. Sluka advises using daylight as much as possible.

Warm colours with light yellow or red tones, as opposed to fluorescent light, help create a healthier complexion.

If all of that is not enough, a lamp behind your notebook will bring more light onto your face.

If you want to do it right, then buy a ring light, says make-up artist Jasmin Reuter.

The light is reflected in the eyes of the person being recorded, and shadows on the face are also eliminated.

”For those who don’t want to put on make-up just for a video call, a ring light and a really good camera is my top tip, ” she says.

“You almost look better than in real life, as the frontal illumination of the face makes your complexion look nice and soft.”

3: A little foundation doesn’t hurt (you too, men)

The camera is merciless and can act like a magnifying glass.

”Blotchy, shiny skin is all the more noticeable on video calls, ” says Reuter.

“If you have to go on an important call, such as one that’s being recorded, I would advise men to use some no-pigment foundation to counteract the shine.”

Depending on the camera position, under-eye circles can appear even darker. If in doubt, use some concealer.

If you wear make-up anyway, Reuter advises using some blusher on video calls.

“And some mascara, which opens your eyes and makes you look more alert.”

Some patterns on your top can give off an agitated vibe, and may even flicker on someone else’s screen.

It’s therefore recommended you avoid eye-catching patterns such as checks or stripes, says Reuter.

If you wear large earrings or necklaces and a headset at the same time, then watch out that they don’t touch each other.

Otherwise you’ll annoy everyone on the call with a constant banging noise.

4: Dress up your background, too

You’ve probably discovered countless interesting things in the home of the people you’ve talked to during a video call. The other person might not have wanted to show you all that.

”Check in advance what’s in view and think about what impression you’re giving off, ” says Sluka. Making sure things look tidy won’t hurt either.

Alternatively, there’s a range of tools included in video conferencing applications like Teams, BigBlueButton, Jitsi and Zoom that will let you do things like blur the background.

”This makes sense if the shelf in the background is a bit of a mess or there is a pile of dishes in the kitchen in the background, ” says Sluka.

However, the soft focus doesn’t always work accurately: Sometimes your hair or hands disappear, especially when you move.

Some programs will let you display any background image - particularly useful for people in small and dark rooms. Plain, light backgrounds work wonders, perhaps a photo of a beautiful, light office.

Holiday photos and funny designs might serve as a conversation starter, but ultimately are just a distraction.

And should you invest in real conferencing equipment? It's a matter of opinion, says video expert Sluka. Most of the time, the built-in cameras - especially with new notebooks - are really good.

For older computers, it can make sense to buy separate hardware, but the sound is more important. The first thing to invest in is a good microphone or new Bluetooth headset. – dpa 

Source link

 

Related:

 

Monday, February 15, 2021

Choosing a good executor for your will

“It is a certainty but the Asian culture fails to talk about death adequately. Many times, the parents don’t really talk about this to their children. Such as, when a parent passes away, who will be in charge of the family’s business, ” Rockwills Advisory Services Sdn Bhd’s general manager and associate estate planning practitioner ason Tham told StarBiz.

 

DEATH is an issue nobody likes to talk about, but it is a certainty in this life.

This is likely due to the Asian culture where death is a rarely or openly discussed subject among families which could lead to complications later on for the loved ones.

“It is a certainty but the Asian culture fails to talk about death adequately. Many times, the parents don’t really talk about this to their children. Such as, when a parent passes away, who will be in charge of the family’s business, ” Rockwills Advisory Services Sdn Bhd’s general manager and associate estate planning practitioner Jason Tham told StarBiz.

“Many times, the children are also helping out in the family business and as the founder and business owner it is difficult for the parents to say that they are their children’s boss and parent at the same time. While in some other instances, siblings may be unhappy if parents outrightly choose one over the other to take over the family business.

"A lot of people have an inkling that this is an important topic to talk about but they don’t know where to start, ” Tham added.

He noted that recent business trends for Rockwills have indicated that awareness among Malaysians on the importance of writing a will have been on the rise as business volume in this area have grown.

Writing one’s will in advance will also help ease the transition for a person’s loved ones in terms of matters pertaining to inheritance.

Other than the importance of being more open in discussing death, Tham said it is important for a person to choose a good executor for the will.

“The executor will be acting on a person’s (demised) will. So appointing a capable executor is a very important task and a common mistake made by many is to overlook this part of choosing a capable executor. Some of the characteristics to look out for in a capable executor is that the person must be reliable and trustworthy, ” Tham said.

“Some good examples of a good executor can be a person’s spouse. Since this is a person whom you can trust and this person would know and can execute your wishes in regards to inheritance.

“We must also know that this person chosen will continue to be in existence, ” he added.

Tham explained that continuing to be in existence generally means that as a general guideline, one should try not to appoint their parents as their will executors.

“Most likely a person’s parents would be much older and the chances of them continuing to be in existence would be lower.

“If there are no untoward or unexpected incidences, most likely your parents will pass away before you. An executor will execute a person’s will when a person is gone, ” he said.

Tham said usually, a family member will be selected as executors and they are usually candidates that would naturally be a priority.

“In some cases, a person might require a neutral body to execute a person’s will and this is when a professional estate planning firm may come in handy, ” he said.

“One example when this may be applicable is when a father would like to give his inheritance to his children but they are not on good terms with each other.

“So it is very difficult for the client to appoint one of them to be executors since they would likely be biased and it can create more fights among them. So this is when a licensed trustee is useful to carry out the demised’s will wishes, ” Tham said.

A licensed trustee can also help carry out a person’s wishes in the event that both parents are not around with minors or offsprings who are not yet considered adults, he said.

Source link

 

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Sunday, February 14, 2021

Be sexually safe this Valentine’s


Don’t let your partner kiss you if they are recovering from a cold sore or ulcer caused by HSV-1 as they can still pass the virus on to you. — AFP

G. vaginalis is the most common bacteria in the vagina and a common cause of bacterial vaginosis. — Filepic


https://youtu.be/2iWShIc3SiI 

 Absolutely amazing video clip... I really appreciate it..... Its an eye opener for our new generation who forget their roots and traditions. That's what have made us retrogress somehow to lead to immoral aspects.... Thumbs up to sender, Sister Swa

 

Being in a monogamous relationship, or abstaining from sex, doesn't necessarily guarantee from sexually-transmitted infection.

 Valentine's day usually invokes the notions of love and romance.

Just imagine, you are on a nice dinner date with your other half and spend the night together in an almost fairytale-like evening.

But this lovely memory soon gets shattered when you or your partner discover unusual symptoms in the genital region.

Suddenly, worry – and even suspicion of each other – fills the atmosphere between the two of you.

And it doesn’t help that it is a topic many people might find difficult to bring up with their partners.

Truth be told, most men and women who are in faithful relationships or who have not had sex before do not expect any unusual symptoms in their genital region.

To suddenly discover a wart, a painful ulcer, or even a smelly and fishy discharge from the vagina, can be distressing.

Whether it’s kissing, skin to skin contact, or vaginal, oral or anal sex, each of these interactions can pose a risk of disease transmission.

But before you jump the gun and start thinking that your partner has cheated on you or lied about their sexual history, hold your horses – he or she could still be innocent!

Here are the top three sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) that one may develop even if you are in a faithful relationship OR have not had sex before.

> Herpes simplex virus (HSV) 1

HSV-1 results in an incurable viral disease commonly known as herpes, which usually causes cold sores and oral ulcers in and around the lips and gums.

These cold sores and ulcers usually cause quite a bit of discomfort, especially when eating.

However, during the recovery stage of the cold sore or ulcer, you will usually not feel anything and may not even remember that you have it.

But it is still infectious at this stage and you may inadvertently spread the virus to your partner while kissing them.

The tricky part comes if you’ve engaged in oral sex with your partner.

Your partner may then develop ulcers around their genital region.

It is a misconception that genital ulcers are exclusively caused by HSV-2 as HSV-1 can also cause such ulcers.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), about 70% of the world’s population are carriers of HSV-1. The good news is that oral and genital herpes are often asymptomatic (do not have symptoms).

They also do not spread to your partner when there are no active ulcers.

They only flare up when your immune system is weakened and become contagious through contact when an ulcer is present.

Flare-ups can occur once every few months to once every few years, to even once every few decades.

You may experience tiredness, chills, fever and body aches before the painful ulcers emerge, often in the same place either at the genitals or mouth.

It is not all doom and gloom however, as you can get an accurate diagnosis with either a swab test of the active ulcer or a blood test two to three months after an active infection.

Getting a confirmed diagnosis can equip you with knowledge on how to prevent this infection with lysine supplements or by treating any active ulcers with antiviral medicines such as valacyclovir.

If left untreated, these ulcers often get painful, but will eventually recover by themselves after two to three weeks.

> Human papillomavirus (HPV) warts

I know it’s a lot to take in after hearing about HSV, but hang in there as we discuss our next disease: HPV warts.

These are cauliflower-like warts caused by HPV.

There are over 100 strains of HPV.

Apart from the 14 cancer-causing high-risk strains, there are also numerous low-risk strains that cause warts.

HPV warts do not turn into cancer, but are often unsightly and manifest themselves in and around the genital region.

HPV is a very common virus that can be found in a large majority of sexually-active persons.

However, it is often well-controlled by our immune system and does not cause any major symptoms.

HPV can be exchanged between you and your partner during sexual contact.

And when your body encounters a new HPV strain, it can cause the warts to develop.

The good news is that although it is unsightly, these warts are often harmless and can be treated with a variety of options, including creams, freezing with liquid nitrogen, and ablation with heat or electrocautery.

While these warts are easily treatable, a cause of greater concern are the high-risk strains like HPV 16,18 and 45.

These strains affect women more because of their ability to cause cervical cancer.

However, both women and men can protect themselves and their partners by getting vaccinated against these strains.

So fret not if you notice an unusual cauliflower-like lump or wart in the genital region; just speak to your doctor to get it assessed and treated.

> Bacterial vaginosis

Last but not least, one of the biggest causes of a fishy and foul-smelling vaginal discharge is the condition known as bacterial vaginosis.

It occurs when there is an imbalance between the good and bad bacteria in your vagina, and is often caused by the bacteria called Gardnerella vaginalis, the most common bacteria in the vagina. 

In the event of a big build-up of bacteria, it can also cause one to develop symptoms of vaginitis, i.e. inflammation of the vagina, resulting in swelling, pain, and even painful sexual intercourse.

Until now, doctors and scientists do not know the exact mechanism of how this occurs, but sex – with or without condoms – often exacerbates this condition.

This condition can be easily diagnosed with a vaginal swab and treated with a vaginal pessary or oral antibiotics.

If you have read up to here, fret not, today can still be an amazing day for you and your partner – just make sure you practise safe sex and get yourselves tested for STIs as a precaution if you haven’t already.

By Dr Julian Hong who is a general practitioner (GP) in Singapore. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.

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